Légende d'Ulenspiegel. English Read online

  She was taken to the grand market of Damme by the torturer and hisassistants. There she was made to mount the scaffold. In the squarewere assembled the provost, the herald, and the judges. The heraldsounded his trumpet thrice, then turned towards the crowd and madethe following announcement:

  "The Council of Damme," he cried, "having taken pity upon the womanKatheline, have decreed that punishment shall not be exacted to thefull extremity of the rigour of our laws. Nevertheless, in witnessthat she is a sorceress, her hair shall be burned, she shall paya fine of twenty carolus d'or, and she shall be banished from theterritory of Damme for the space of three years, under penalty oflosing one of her limbs."

  And at this rough gentleness the people broke into applause.

  Then the torturer tied Katheline to the stake, placed on her shornscalp a wig of tow, and held it in the fire. And the tow burned fora long time, and Katheline cried aloud and wept.

  Then they released her, and she was put in a cart and taken awayoutside the territory of Damme. She could not walk at all, becauseof her feet that were burned.

  XXVI

  Ulenspiegel, meanwhile, had arrived in his wanderings at thefish-market at Liege. There he descried a tall young fellow carryingunder his arm a net filled with all sorts of poultry, and another netalso which he was rapidly filling with haddock, trout, eels, and pike.

  Ulenspiegel recognized him as none other than his old friend LammeGoedzak.

  "What are you doing here, Lamme?" he said.

  "You must know," Lamme answered, "that many people have latelyemigrated from Flanders to this gentle land of Liege. As for me,I follow my loves. And you?"

  "I am on the look-out for a master to serve for my daily bread,"said Ulenspiegel.

  "Bread is a dry sort of nourishment," said Lamme. "You would do betterto try a chaplet of ortolans with a thrush for the Credo."

  "You have plenty of money?" Ulenspiegel inquired.

  Lamme Goedzak made answer:

  "I have lost my father and mother, and that young sister of mine thatused to beat me so. I shall inherit all their property, and now I amliving with a one-eyed servant who is very learned in the noble artof making fricassees."

  "Would you like me to carry your fish and your poultry foryou?" suggested Ulenspiegel.

  "Yes," said Lamme.

  And together they began to wander through the market. All at onceLamme said to his companion:

  "You are mad. Do you know why?"

  "No," said Ulenspiegel.

  "Because you go carrying fish and poultry in your hand instead of inyour stomach."

  "You are right, Lamme," said Ulenspiegel; "but since I have lackedbread, ortolans will not even look at me."

  "You shall eat your fill of them," said Lamme, "and serve me too,if my cook takes a fancy to you."

  While they were walking along, Lamme pointed out to Ulenspiegel abeautiful young girl, who was walking through the market. She wore asilk dress and gazed at Lamme with sweet and gentle eyes. An old man,her father, walked just behind, carrying two nets, one filled withfish, the other with game.

  "See that girl?" said Lamme, pointing at her. "I am going to marryher."

  "Oh!" said Ulenspiegel, "I know her. She is a Flemish maid fromZotteghem. She lives in the rue Vinave-d'Isle, and the neighbours saythat she lets her mother sweep the road in front of the house in herstead, while her own father irons her underclothing."

  To this Lamme made no answer, but exclaimed delightedly:

  "She looked at me just now!"

  By this time they were come to Lamme's lodging, near thePont-des-Arches. They knocked at the door, and a one-eyed servantopened to them. Ulenspiegel saw that she was old, scraggy, lank,and fierce of aspect.

  Lamme addressed her as La Sanginne, and inquired if she would takeUlenspiegel to help in the kitchen.

  "I will give him a trial," she said.

  "Then take him," said Lamme, "and let him also make trial of thedelights of your kitchen."

  La Sanginne put three black puddings on the table, a pint of ale,and a large loaf of bread. Ulenspiegel set to with a will, and Lammebegan to nibble at one of the puddings.

  "Know you," Lamme asked presently, "where it is that our souls abide?"

  "No, Lamme," said Ulenspiegel.

  "In our stomachs," Lamme told him, "so they can keep them excavatedcontinually, and for ever renew in our bodies the impulse forlife. And who are the best companions for a man? I'll tell you. Thebest companions for a man are all good and jolly things to eat,and wine from the Meuse to crown all!"

  "True," said Ulenspiegel. "A pudding is good company to a solitarysoul."

  "He's still hungry," said Lamme to La Sanginne. "Give him somemore." And the woman served him with a second portion of pudding--whitethis time.

  While Ulenspiegel went on eating, Lamme grew thoughtful.

  "When I die," said he, "my stomach will die with me, and down therein purgatory they will leave me to fast, and I shall have to carrymy poor belly about with me, all empty and limp."

  "I like the black ones best," said Ulenspiegel.

  "You have eaten six already," said La Sanginne, "and you won't haveany more."

  "You may be sure," said Lamme, "that you will be well treated here,and you will have just the same to eat as I do."

  "I shall remember this promise of yours," said Ulenspiegel. Butseeing that what his friend had told him was the truth, Ulenspiegelwas well content, and the puddings that he had swallowed gave himsuch courage that on that very day he polished the kettles and thepots and the pans till they shone like the sun. And he lived happilyin that house, frequenting willingly the kitchen and the wine-cellar,and leaving the loft to the cats.

  One day La Sanginne had two poulets to roast, and she asked Ulenspiegelto turn the spit while she went to market for some herbs for aseasoning. The two poulets being well roasted, Ulenspiegel tookone of them and ate it. When La Sanginne returned from the marketshe remarked:

  "There were two poulets, but now I can only see one."

  "Just open your other eye," answered Ulenspiegel, "and you will seethe two of them all right!"

  But she was angry, and went to Lamme Goedzak to tell him what hadhappened. Lamme came down into the kitchen and said to Ulenspiegel:

  "Why do you make fun of my serving-maid? There were certainly twopoulets."

  "There were," said Ulenspiegel, "but when I came you told me that Iwas to eat and drink just as much as you. There were two poulets. Verywell. I have eaten one, and you will eat the other. My pleasure isover. Yours is still to come. Are you not happier than I?"

  "Yes," said Lamme smiling, "but just you do what La Sanginne tells you,and you'll find your work halved."

  "I will be careful to do as you say," said Ulenspiegel.

  So every time that La Sanginne told him to do anything he did butthe half of it. If she asked him to go and draw two pails of waterhe would only bring back one; and if she told him to go and fill apot of ale at the cask, he would pour the half of it down his throaton the way--and so on and so on.

  At last La Sanginne grew tired of these goings on, and she told Lammethat either this good-for-nothing fellow must leave the house or shemust leave herself.

  Lamme descended on Ulenspiegel and told him:

  "You'll have to go, my son, notwithstanding that you have looked somuch better in health since you have been here. Listen to that cockcrowing. And it's two o'clock of the afternoon! That means rain. I amsorry to have to put you out of doors in bad weather. But there, myson, you know that La Sanginne is the guardian angel of my life, withher lovely fricassees. If she were to leave me I might die a speedydeath. I cannot risk it. Go then, my boy, and God be with you, and hereare three florins and this string of saveloys to liven your journey."

  And Ulenspiegel departed, crestfallen and with many regrets for Lammeand his kitchen.

  XXVII

  There was a rumour abroad that the Emperor Charles was going to annulthe right of the monks to inherit the estat
es of those who happened todie in their convents, a thing which was very displeasing to the Pope.

  One day when Ulenspiegel was come to fish from the banks of theriver Meuse, he was thinking to himself that by the above action theEmperor would stand to profit both ways, since he would inherit thesaid estates, while the family of the deceased would inherit nothingat all. Pondering these thoughts, he carefully baited his hook, andthen sat down by the river-side. And he began to nibble at a piece ofstale brown bread, regretting the while that he had no good Romagnawine wherewith to wash it down. Still, he thought, one cannot alwayshave everything just as one would like. And all the time he kept onthrowing little pieces of his bread into the water, saying to himselfthat no man deserves a meal who will not share it with his neighbours.

  Now it was that a gudgeon came upon the scene, attracted in the firstplace by the odour of bread-crumbs; and he licked up the bread with hislips and opened his mouth for more, thinking no doubt in his innocencethat the bread would fall into his gullet of itself. But while gazingthus in the air the gudgeon was suddenly swallowed up by a treacherouspike who had hurled himself upon him like a flash of lightning.

  Now the pike played a similar trick upon a carp who was catching flieson the top of the water without any fear of danger. And after thisgood meal the pike stayed motionless below the surface of the water,disdainful of the smaller fry, who, indeed, were only too glad to swimaway from him of their own accord and as fast as ever they could. Butwhile the pike was taking his ease in this manner, a second pike cameup; and he was a hungry pike, and his mouth was open wide, for as yethe had not breakfasted. With a bound the new arrival threw himselfupon his brother, and a furious combat ensued. They lashed at oneanother with their fins, the water was red with their blood. The pikethat had eaten defended himself but feebly against the assaults of thehungry one; nevertheless, backing a little, he took courage again andthrew himself like a bullet against his adversary. The latter awaitedthis new attack with open jaws, which did not close until more thanhalf of his assailant's head had disappeared between them. Now theytried to free themselves, but could not because of the hooked teethof the one that had become embedded in the flesh of the other. Andso they battled against each other in despair. Nor did they notice,interlocked as they were, the strong fish-hook at the end of a silkencord, which rose towards them from the depths of the water. In anothermoment it had embedded itself in the body of the pike that had dined,and the two struggling fish found themselves drawn out of the waterand laid together on the grass without the least deference.

  As he killed them Ulenspiegel said:

  "Ha ha, my little pikes, I will call you the Pope and the Emperor,that prey ever one upon the other; but I, forsooth, am the CommonMan that shall catch you on his hook, in God's good time, and makean end of your battles!"

  XXVIII

  In the meantime Nele was taking care of Katheline, who was stillout of her mind and who called continually upon Hanske, her ice-coldlover. But sometimes Nele would leave her mother safely guarded in thehouse of some kindly neighbour, and herself would wander far and wideand all alone, even unto Antwerp, searching ever, among the ships onthe river, or along the dusty roads, for Ulenspiegel.

  And at home, also, in the house of Claes, it was evil days. Claesworked sadly on his land alone, for there was not enough work fortwo. And Soetkin stayed in the cottage by herself, cooking the beanswhich formed their daily fare in a hundred different ways, so thatshe might have something to enliven her husband's appetite. And shesang and laughed all the time, so that he might not be grieved byseeing her unhappy.

  One day a man on horseback drew up in front of the cottage. He wasdressed all in black, he was very thin, and very sad of countenance.

  "Is any one within?" he asked.

  "God bless your sadness," answered Soetkin, "but am I a phantom,that seeing me here you must yet inquire if there is any one within?"

  "Where is your father?" asked the horseman.

  "If my father's name is Claes, he is over there," Soetkin toldhim. "You will find him sowing corn."

  The horseman departed in the direction in which she had pointed,and Soetkin also went her way ruefully, for this was the sixth timethat she had had to go to the baker's to buy bread with no money topay for it.

  On returning empty-handed to the cottage, Soetkin was amazed to seeClaes coming down the road triumphantly seated on the horse of the manin black. He looked very proud of himself, and the man in black walkedby his side holding the horse's bridle. Hanging at his side, Claesheld a leathern bag which appeared to be full of things. Dismountingfrom the horse, Claes embraced his companion, gave him a playful patupon the back, and then, shaking the bag, cried out in a loud voice:

  "Long life to Josse, my brother, the good hermit of Meyborg! MayGod keep him in joy and fatness, in happiness and health! Our Josse,patron of plenty, and of all abundance, and rich soups!"

  And so saying he took up the sack and deposited it upon the table. ButSoetkin said sadly:

  "My good man, we shall not eat this day. The baker has refused togive me any bread."

  "Bread?" cried Claes, opening the sack and letting a river of goldencoins roll out on the table. "Bread? Here is bread and butter, meat,wine, beer! Here are hams, marrow-bones, pasties, ortolans, fattedpoulets, castrelins, all just as you might find them in the houses ofthe rich! Bread indeed! Here are casks of beer and kegs of wine! Madmust be the baker who will refuse to give us bread. Verily we willdeal at his shop no more!"

  "But, my good man!" said Soetkin amazed.

  "Nay, listen," said Claes, "and make the most of your good fortune. Forthese are the facts. Katheline, it seems, has lately been to Meyborgin Germany, and Nele with her, on a visit to my eldest brother Josse,who dwells there as a hermit. Nele told my brother how that we wereliving in poverty, notwithstanding that we work so hard. And now,if we are to believe this good messenger"--and here Claes pointedto the black horseman--"Josse has left the holy Roman religion andabandoned himself to the heresy of Luther."

  The man in black made answer:

  "It is they that are heretics, they who follow the cult of the ScarletWoman. For the Pope is a cheat and a trader in holy things."

  "Oh!" cried Soetkin, "speak not so loud, sir. You will have us burnedalive, all three."

  "Well," continued Claes, "it appears that Josse has made known to thisgood messenger that inasmuch as he is going to fight in the army ofFrederic of Saxony, and is bringing him fifty armed men fully equipped,he has no need of much money to leave it to the hands of some wretchof a landsknecht, now that he himself is going to the war. Therefore,says he, take it to my brother Claes, and render to him, with myblessing, these seven hundred florins. Tell him to live virtuously,and to ponder the salvation of his soul."

  "Yea, verily," said the horseman, "now is the time. For God willreward every man according to his works, and every man according tohis merit."

  "Good sir," said Claes, "it is not forbidden, I trust, to rejoicein the meantime at this good news? Deign, then, to stay with us,and we will celebrate our fortune with a nice dinner of tripe,well boiled, and a knuckle of that ham which I saw just now at thepork-butcher's. Of a truth, it looked so plump and tasty that myteeth almost shot out of my mouth to close thereon."

  "Alas!" said the stranger, "the foolish make merry while the eye ofthe Lord is yet upon them."

  "Come now, messenger," said Claes, "will you eat and drink with usor will you not?"

  The man answered: "It will be time enough for the faithful to thinkabout such earthly joys when mighty Babylon has fallen."

  Seeing Claes and Soetkin cross themselves, he made as though to leavethem. But Claes said to him:

  "Since you persist in leaving us without accepting of our hospitality,will you at least give to my brother the kiss of peace on my behalf,and look after him well at the wars."

  "That will I," said the man.

  And he departed from them, while Soetkin went to make her preparationsfor celebrating their g
ood fortune.

  Now it was quickly noised abroad through the town that Claes that wasonce so poor had now become rich through the generosity of his brotherJosse. And the Dean of Damme was heard to say that it was Katheline nodoubt who had laid a charm on Josse, and he said this because Claes,although he had received a large sum of money from his brother,had given not so much as a single vestment to Notre Dame. But Claesand Soetkin were happy again, Claes working in the fields or lookingafter his business of charcoal-burning, while Soetkin attended to herhome right valiantly. Yet still was she sorrowful at heart, scanningever with her eyes the open road if perchance she might see her sonUlenspiegel returning back to her. And thus it was these three livedon and experienced the happiness which comes from God while waitingfor that which was going to come to them from men.

  XXIX

  The Emperor Charles had received a letter from England, from Philip,who was now married to the Queen of that country.

  "Sir and Father," the letter ran,--"It is matter of sore displeasure to me that I should have to live in a country like this where the accursed heretics swarm like fleas and worms and locusts. Fire and sword are needed to remove them from the trunk of that tree of life which is our Holy Mother the Church. And, as if this were not trouble enough, I have also to put up with being regarded not as a King but merely as the husband of the Queen; for in very truth apart from her I am destitute of all authority. And the English make mock of me, spreading broadcast the most shameful pamphlets which assert that I am being bribed by the Pope to afflict their country with every kind of impious burning and persecution. Nor can I discover who it is that writes these pamphlets, nor yet who prints them. And when I try to raise from the people some necessary contribution (for in their malice and wickedness they often leave me without any money at all), they answer by advising me, in coarse lampoons, to ask of Satan in whose pay I am. Parliament makes excuses for fear of my sting, but I can get nothing out of them. And meanwhile the walls of London are covered with the grossest pictures representing me as a parricide who is ready to strike down your Majesty for the sake of my inheritance. But well you know, my Lord and Father, that notwithstanding all the hopes of a legitimate ambition, I most certainly desire that your Majesty may enjoy yet long and glorious years of rule. Furthermore, there are circulating through the city certain engravings on copper which show me torturing animals and laughing the while. But well you know, Sire, that if ever it has happened to me to taste this profane pleasure, I have surely never laughed thereat. But they try to make out that this innocent sport is a sort of crime, despite the fact that animals have no souls, and although it is assuredly permitted to all men, especially if they be of Royal birth, to make use of brute beasts even unto death for purposes of honest recreation. But in this land of England the people are so fond of animals that they treat their animals better than their own servants. The stables and dog-kennels are kept like palaces, and I have known great lords who pass the night on the same litter with their horse. To crown all, my noble Wife and Queen is barren, and these people have the outrageous effrontery to declare that I am to blame and not she, who is in other respects a most jealous and intractable woman, and amorous to excess. Sir and Father, I pray daily that the Lord God may have me in his grace, and I live in hopes that another throne may be given me, even though it be with the Turk, what time I still await that other glorious throne to which I shall be one day called by the honour of being the son of your very Glorious and Victorious Majesty.